Future Visualizations Impacting Present Decisions

One thing I often do with parents is ask them to visualize an ideal future with their child in it. For the parents of infants, I have them see their child as a two-year old in a restaurant, visiting a friend's house, or on a nature hike. For parents of teens I might take them to an imaginary cafe with their adult child, where they are meeting for lunch. In whatever situation I describe for them, it is very important that they see and feel the scenario exactly as they would most like it to be.

Once they can clearly envision their most desired scenario in such settings, we can then measure their day to day parenting decisions against that preferred future in order to determine if the choices they are making now are aligned toward that dream or away from it.

For instance, one client saw their infant-as-two-year-old in a restaurant, happily playing with some toys on the table, and when the food arrived, eating some of everything on her plate. With that outcome in mind we examined how the parent could approach food choices when the baby is six months old. We came up with the idea to offer a variety of foods and consistently re-introduce foods that did not get a favorable response the first time. By doing so, the baby not only will more likely acquire a taste for all kinds of healthy foods, but she also learns the message over time that while we may like the taste of some foods over others, we put lots of different ones in our bodies because that is what keeps us healthy. Food is not only about pleasure, but also about giving our bodies what they need.

Secondly, I suggested that at an early age we can talk to our babies about what each food does for the body. "That egg will help your body grow and the toast will give you energy to play." By laying this kind of groundwork early, children learn the important role that a well-balanced diet plays for their health.

A good question for parents of children any age to ask themselves is, "Is this action moving me toward my dream or away from it?" Parents who act in ways that move them toward their dreams find great joy, love, and fulfillment in their family life, and it brings me tremendous satisfaction to help parents find this.