Tip of the Week: Teaching Responsibility

This is a great tip for parents with siblings. When you're out and about and you have a snack for the kids, give the whole container to one child, but tell her she has "the responsibility." That means that whenever the other child (or children) want one, she has the responsibility to make sure they get one. If they can handle the responsibility, they get to keep the container. Make sure each child has an opportunity to have the responsibility. I did this when my twins were barely 2, and it didn't take long before they were saying, "Mom, can I have responsibility?"

A few things I've learned as a teacher and a mom

If you enter your kids' or students' world for a while and give them your full attention, it makes all the difference. In return, they will happily respect your time when you need it.

You do not need to mince words with kids. They don't have a problem with "no" as long as there are plenty of "yesses" in their life. Of course it's good to give reasons, but kids aren't dumb. Most of the time they know why.

Deep down kids want to be held to high standards, often even higher than they set for themselves. They are forever grateful when you help them learn that they are stronger and more capable than they knew before.

Kids can start to contribute to the family as soon as they can understand language. It builds their self-worth to know that they are integral to the function of a larger unit. Every time they do a job well they build a mindset that says "I can handle responsibilities." As new challenges and tasks come along they will take them on more confidently because they know they can do it.

Take the time and make the effort very early on to guide, teach, direct, explain, and instill discipline. If you do this well in the early years, the rest of the years will be immensely more enjoyable.

When kids siblings have a conflicte enter the situation and state what the problem is. (somehting like, "Oh, I see what the problem is. Eli wants to play with the green legos, and Evie wants to play with the green legos too.) Then say, "I am confident you can solve this problem" and leave the room. This tip is from the book, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so They'll Talk. I tried it when my kids were only 2, and I was amazed. They came running in and said,"We solved the problem. I gave the green legos to Eli and I played with the yellow ones! Now, at almost 3 they say, "How should we solve this problem?" and if I ask that, they come up with solutions. I recommend the mentioned book because it really helps get the kids thinking for themselves.

Real love is much more than a feeling inside. It is action, action, action.

Household Jobs that toddlers/preschoolers can do

Put away the silverware

Pick up their own toys

Help set the table

Assemble sippy cups and put away plastic dishes

Put their shoes away

Wash the vegetables

Standby Activities for 2 and 3 year old children

Make playdough cookies: Get out the hot pads and cookie sheets and let them pretend with the real oven.

Make real cookies.

Bath Paint: Combine shaving cream with food coloring and you have a great activity for a rainy day.

Monster Hide and Seek: Just like hide and seek with lots of roaring.

"Team Yoga." Much like Hop on Pop, but more like Climb up Mom.

Flip the Kid: Lay on your back and let the toddler lay face forward on your shins. Flip the child over your head and catch her with your arms. Child ends up standing on the ground behind your head.

Pretend to be an animal and mom figures out what you are by finding out what you eat, how you act, etc.

Jigsaw puzzles.

I spy.

Dominoes. For stacking, sorting, or setting up to fall down. The ones with colors are the best.

Magna Doodles are a classic creative toy. Great for developing motor skills, for long road trips, for teaching shapes, letters, and numbers.

Make a party for the stuffed animals. Have children show them books, bring them snacks, serve them tea, take them to the potty, etc.