As a parent coach, my mission is to help parents move out of what I call "auto-pilot parenting" and into aware, intentional, optimal parenting. When we are in auto-pilot mode, we are generally operating in one of two ways:
1) Doing what our parents did.
If you had wonderful parents, then this isn't terrible, but it still is not optimal, for two reasons. First of all, your parents lived in a different time. Parenting today truly does offer different challenges than your parents faced. Optimal parenting is being aware of today's challenges and taking them on in a way that puts your own values at the forefront. Secondly, your children are not you. While there are some tried and true techniques, each one will work differently depending on a child's temperament. Optimal parenting considers the individual child, whereas auto-pilot parenting does not.
2) Not doing what our parents did.
Many of us enter parenting determined to do the exact opposite of what our parents did. The problem with this type of auto-pilot parenting, is that most often, we swing the pendulum too far in the other direction. For example, someone raised in an overly strict environment reacts to this by becoming far too lenient. Optimal parenting is balanced, aware, and intentional, not reactive.
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