Food for Thought

We have the opportunity when our kids are very young to decide which habits, rituals, and everyday ideas permeate their lives. They only know what they are exposed to, so they do not know that what you do in your home might be quite different from what other people do in theirs. I encourage parents to use this stage to parent in ways that are consistent with their values and that create great habits for their little ones.

For example, a baby who is offered a variety of healthy foods does not know that sweets exist, and by offering healthy choices early on, you are shaping their taste buds to try new things and learn what real, healthy food tastes like. I have never understood people's desire to give sugar-laden foods to babies, when this stage is the opportune time to instill healthy eating habits. If you give a baby sweets, they are more likely to become those picky-eating toddlers that refuse healthy food and make you worry if they are getting enough nutrition. My pediatrician once said, "I've never seen a kid starve himself." I suggest offering only healthy foods in the early stages of life. Once those good healthy eating habits are in place, then an occasional treat is certainly fine.

Early childhood is also a time when children have no expectations, and so I offer that parents do not need to go crazy for birthday parties and holidays. Kids at this age don't know what to expect, so what you plan for their early birthdays becomes the foundation for what they will expect in future years. I want my children to appreciate time with friends and family, a special meal, some fun games to play, and making a wish on a birthday cake. With all these special occurrences, I don't believe that they need to start expecting birthday presents, clowns, or frivolous theme parties which only raise the bar so high that they'll never be able to match it again. My choice to ask for no gifts comes from my desire to have my kids appreciate the little things in life. It also comes as a reflection of my own childhood. I remember being little and thinking,"I wonder how many presents I'll get this year." Over time, I expected more and more, and Christmas for me was reduced to the material.

The above is just an example of how parents can consciously choose how our traditions reflect our values. I don't have any problem with birthday presents per se; I am just using this instance to illustrate my point.

I believe that the strongest parents are very aware of their values and consistently parent from them, creating a world for their children that reflects and helps instill those values. The first few years of a child's life is a prime opportunity, because children will not yet see on a regular basis how "everyone else is doing it." I encourage parents to take advantage of that opportunity.