Observing Out Loud Instead of Telling What to Do

I think this idea came from How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk...First, let me say that I am not afraid of telling my kids if something needs to be done. However, if directing is done too frequently it loses its potency, not to mention that the kids aren't given the opportunity to draw their own conclusions about what needs to be done. So an alternative that works surprisingly well is to observe a situation out loud and see how they respond to it. For example, if a child has forgotten to put his dishes in the sink, you could say, "Oh, I see someone's dishes are still on the table." You'll be amazed when suddenly in walks a little one to come and put them away. I once used this technique when there was a squabble over a toy. "Oh, I see two kids who aren't working to solve their problem" and then the solutions came pouring out of them like magic.

A spin-off of this is to become the dummy. "Oh no, I see a cup on the table and I don't know what to do." or, "Oh no, I see that you are fighting. I've forgotten what we do when we both want the same toy. How are we going to solve this?" Not only is it fun to take on a different stance, it is amazing to see how the kids will step up and be the "grown-ups."