The Teachable Moment

If there's one thing my teaching career taught me it is to recognize the "teachable moment." It is that glimpse of time when the child is ready to hear what you have to offer, and if you can recognize it and seize it, you will do wonders for a young one.

With toddlers and preschoolers it can be difficult to recognize the teachable moment, because so often they eagerly want to "do it themselves" (even if they are incapable of doing so) that they often resist a parent's help. Also, toddlers and preschoolers behavior can be so off-putting at times, that one's initial reaction is to scold, lecture, or threaten punishment, rather than teach and guide.

However, most often kids just need their parents to tune in to what is behind their words and teach in a way that will reach them. Lecturing is often ineffective, because it feels repellent to a child who does want to figure it out for himself. Using stories is a terrific way to seize the teachable moment with 3 to 6 year olds, because children love stories, and because it feels less like being told what to do or how to do it.

A teachable moment happened this morning with my daughter. I was able to seize the moment because I was in a place of peace after having a little exercise and a productive, happy morning. She was trying to put on her doll's clothes and was getting frustrated, fussing, and asking for me to do it for her. My, "Honey, you can do it"s were met with "I can't, do it. I CAN'T!" Something in me saw the teachable moment and what was behind her words. She felt she needed some help, and perhaps she was just wanting some attention too. I stopped, got down on her level, and said, "Honey, you know what? When you say "I can't," your brain sends that message to your body, and then your hands don't work right. Look." Then aloud I said, "I can't" and attempted to clap my hands, but missed contact. Then I said, "I think I can" and clapped my hands together loudly and triumphantly. "If you say, "I think I can" that sends the message to your hands that you can do it, and then they work better! Here's how this doll top is supposed to go. Now, try saying "I think I can" and see if you can get your hands to work better."

There are a few things I want to remind myself about this encounter. 1) I was able to see the teachable moment because I myself was cared for and ready to be a great mom. 2) When I take the time to use a story or creative way to teach, we both end up more content and feeling closer to each other, and 3) Most of the time if I can listen for what is behind the words and tune into that, I can see an effective way to handle it.

Take care, and enjoy your teachable moments.