Create a home environment that reflects your values

Once parents have defined their deepest core values, they can take some great steps to creating an "intentional environment,"--a home that reflects and encourages the growth of those values. Here are some questions to reflect upon if you'd like to create a more intentional home environment.

1) What toys are allowed in my home? Why?


We as parents have the power to choose toys for our children that support them in whatever value they have. For example, toys that are "kid-powered," put the child in a creative role rather than a reactive one. Princess attire, if overdone, can send a message about valuing beauty rather than creativity or thinking. Guns and swords suggest a scary world where monsters or other people need to be slain. Parents have every right to choose and monitor which toys their children play with, and wonderful toy stores abound that have positive, constructive, creative learning and play in mind. When a friend or relative gives the gift of a toy that does not match our intentional environment, we don't have to make an uncomfortable scene, but can simply rotate the toy "out" once the guest has left.

2) How do we spend our time together?

Having consistent time spent talking and relating to one another sends the message that we as a family communicate regularly to build and strengthen our relationship. Time outdoors reflects the value of nature. Creating a ritual of dancing when the family comes back together after work values celebration and joy of living. It takes just a little effort to become more intentional about the little things a family does together, and yet it makes a lasting impression on your children.

3) What outside values do we let into our family's sphere?

It is always tough to find balance between creating a life around our own values and preparing children for the outside world. However, one thing many parents do not realize is that the television is more than an entertainment machine, it is a values machine. Millions of dollars are spent every year to influence your children to beg you to buy them things. Advertising's only goal is to get you to spend money, not to promote constructive values. Being very choosy about programs and how much time is spent watching television is crucial for creating an intentional environment.

4) How do my spouse and I interact in good times and bad?

Our children will take so much more from what we do than what you say, so one of the first places parents can look is within their relationship. Couples who have developed some rules for "fighting fair" are modeling how to disagree respectfully. It's okay for children to see us argue occasionally, but if we can retain respect when we do so, they will learn how to express their opinions with respect as well.

Flourishing families have one thing in common. They know why they do the things they do. It's a simple little thing that makes a world of difference.